Hairlarity
August 17, 2008
Fall camp must either be going swimmingly, or be incredibly boring for everyone involved, or both, since it appears that hairstyles are the predominant topic of conversation. At least they are today.
First, the elder linemen in the group unveiled a new hairstyle (mostly) en masse which had me asking if it was 1991 again. Jim Cordle, seen pictured to the right asking reporters to stop, collaborate and listen (courtesy of the Athletic Department), and Alex Boone appear to be the ringleaders for this new look among the lineman, with Steve Rehring’s peach fuzz hairstyle yet to don the lightning bolts and racing stripes. I’m not sure a reason was given for the hairstyle, though I’m guessing it’s some contraption whereby, even though the players will wear helmets, the lightning bolts and racing stripes make them look faster. However, all the bolts and racing stripes do for Alex Boone is make him look like he got really hammered the night before, passed out, and had his fraternity brothers write obscenities and/or phallic imagery on him.
The story doesn’t end there, however. This obsession about hair has led to an all points manhunt for freshman lineman and freshman ringleader Michael Brewster. Apparently Brewster’s curly locks do not sit well with Alex Boone.
“The thing is, have you ever seen Brewster’s hair? It’s ridiculous,” Boone said. “I hate the way it’s too long and curly. I hate the way it looks, so we were going to tie him down and shave his head. Jimmy’s over here hiding him in his room pretending like he’s not in there.”
The Jimmy referenced there is Jim Cordle, who is Michael Brewster’s roommate. Cordle is apparently torn between saving Michael Brewster from the clippers and unleashing the hounds on the freshman.
If nothing else, this story provides some kind of drama to camp. Do we start a “Save Michael Brewster” campaign? Place an over/under on the odds of Michael Brewster’s shaggy hair surviving camp?
Hmm. Decisions decisions.
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