So did a turtle bite Woody Hayes in the man-gavel? Short answer: No. Long answer: No, you morons.
When dealing with guns, always assume they’re loaded—even when you know they’re not. When dealing with microphones, always assume they’re hot—even when you know they’re not. And if you’re a public figure, when dealing with funny, apocryphal stories, always assume someone will take that story seriously—even when you know nobody possibly could.
Lo and behold, Urban Meyer tried to get some chuckles by telling a joke—as in a story with a ridiculous premise and a clear punchline as the payoff—and an old joke at that, one he’s told numerous times before. The punchline was ignored and the joke was reported as fact, and here we are. Here’s the joke in question, via Big Lead Sports:
“He reaches down and grabs this box, slides the top and there was something in the box moving around. He reaches in and he pulls out this turtle. He reaches down, this…
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