Ohio State Round Table: Split Personality Edition – Week Seven

Over the past decade, Ohio State football fans have gathered a wide range of experiences. We’ve climbed to the highest of highs when our team won a National Championship, and have stumbled to the lowest of lows when… our team failed to win a National Championship. The more casual followers can take this up and down journey in stride. Those of us who follow the Buckeyes more fervently, like I do, react differently. I often find myself battling on the inside; debating internally on different aspects of the game. It’s as if I have split personalities and they’re all playing tug of war, battling for my frame of mind.

This round table is a weekly forum for these personalities to voice their opinions. Let’s jump in!

If anyone is curious, this is the type of situation that causes me to develop multiple personalities. A baffling loss to a team that is inferior to us at every position, a complete no-show by the offense, a team that’s so horribly coached, it’s almost comical — yeah, that’s the gas that fuels the deterioration of normalcy.

This game made me realize a few things. One — our offense isn’t very good. Like, at all. Two — Ohio State isn’t as bulletproof against inferior opponents as we thought they were. Three — it is time, ladies and gentleman, to lower our expectations.

Anyway, Pessimistic Parry will not be joining us today. Not because there’s no pessimism — he actually needed an entire article to voice his opinions (will be posted later this week). A new personality makes his debut in our round table. Without further delay:

How do you see the rest of the season playing out after the loss to Purdue?

Optimistic Oscar: I don’t understand why everyone is acting like the sky is falling. USC has lost to double-digit underdogs in every season since 2006, and they still went on to win their conference and every Rose Bowl in that time span. So we had one bad game — the season isn’t over. Think about it, we still control our own destiny. If the Buckeyes win out, they’ll be in Pasadena on January 1.

The Buckeyes can use this game as motivation. Sometimes it takes a situation like this to motivate a team. It’s like that scene in the movie Fight Club, when Brad Pitt took a random Gas Station employee and put a gun to his head. Pitt asked the employee what he always wanted to be when he was growing up, and the man replied “a veterinarian”. After getting the employees name and address, Pitt told the man that he will visit him in the future, and that if he’s not on his way to becoming a veterinarian, he will kill him.

That’s basically what Purdue did this past Saturday. They put a gun to Ohio State’s head and asked them, “What do you want to be at the end of the year, a Rose Bowl team or an Alamo Bowl Team?”

Hopefully they’ll respond with a five game winning streak.

I just punched a hole in my wall Isaac: It was a big round one, right in my living room, and it cut my knuckles. Who the heck cares how the rest of the season plays out, we’re freaking awful. How do we lose to Purdue? Northern Illinois beat Purdue earlier this year. They don’t even have Garrett Wolfe anymore, and they still beat Purdue. I can’t think straight. A Garrett Wolfeless Northern Illinois team beat Purdue, but the four-and-five-star-recruit-laden-Buckeyes can’t. UGH!

This is nothing like that scene in Fight Club, Oscar. Theoretically speaking, if Purdue put a gun to our head, we should have been able to take that gun from them with Bruce Lee quickness, bent it in half like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator, then laughed amongst ourselves as we escorted them to a Final Destination type demise.

Does anyone know a good dry-wall repair guy?

Realistic Randy: It’s frustrating to have so much talent on offense, but not be able to do anything with it. We’ve been saying it all year — our defense is playing inspired football and the offense will catch up soon enough. Well, that’s not happening. The Ohio State offense was bad on all levels this Saturday. The O-line wasn’t blocking, the quarterback wasn’t making good decisions, the receivers weren’t getting open and the running game was non-existent.

How can we get anywhere close to a fifth-straight conference title with this offense? I just don’t see it happening. We should be able to win the Minnesota game (…I think), and New Mexico State doesn’t have a chance (… I think). That will give Ohio State 7 wins going into November. If there is no improvement on offense (honestly, don’t get your hopes up), then we’ll be lucky to win any of the games in November. We could steal one or be incredibly fortunate and get two, ending the season with 8 or 9 wins.

It will all depend on how many Big Ten teams get into the BCS. The Buckeyes could end up anywhere from the Alamo Bowl to the Capital One Bowl.

Split Personalities: How We Saw It

For the first five weeks of the season, I’ve had my multiple personalities (personalities that were created/produced by the stress of… just being a Buckeye fan) discuss and debate topics related to Ohio State Football. We’ll be doing something a little different this week. The contributors to this Round Table made their way to Columbus for the game against Wisconsin, so instead of the usual ‘Round Table’ format, we’re going to revisit the events of the day, and our members will offer their opinions on these events.

Let’s jump in!

7:30 AM - I’m lying in my bed, having barely moved into the non-REM cycle of sleep, when my doorbell rings. That would be my brother, Mike, ready for the game. I grudgingly crawl out of bed; I feel like Thad Gibson punched me in the face, sent me into a 13 year coma, and I’m just now waking up.

7:33 AM - Mike and I fight through the awkwardness of me answering the door wearing nothing but my Scooby-doo boxers and a buckeye necklace.

Pessimistic Parry - …There are no words.

7:55 AM - I make a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs, sausage and toast. The smell of the food is finally pulling me out of my coma-like state, and I start to feel the excitement. We’re going to the game!

Optimistic Oscar - Breakfast was fantastic. We should open a restaurant.

Pessimistic Parry: - “I make a hearty breakfast”? When did we adopt Mel Gibson’s vocabulary from Braveheart?

8:30 AM - Mike and I start the two hour drive south to Columbus.

9:10 AM – Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mike (who has been married for five years) pull his phone out of his pocket and dial a number. I knew who he was calling before this conversation started:

Mike: Hey, honey, it’s me… (his voice soft as a feather, as if there were a baby in the backseat that he didn’t want to wake — his wife would never suspect that we were just singing/screaming the words to Thunder by ACDC)… Yes, we’re on the road now… yes, I’m wearing my seatbelt (he looks over at me), yeah, he’s wearing his too… ah, that’s nice… Thanks for waking up this morning and giving me a hug goodbye.

9:12 AM - I start booing. Loudly. This is a man day. There is no room for such…such… mushiness. Mike spent the next six minutes telling his wife an elaborate story of how a Toyota with Michigan plates cut us off, and that’s why I was booing.

The next six minutes - I chuckle to myself.

9:55 AM – 30 minutes from Columbus. One of my favorite parts of the day is the drive down. I love when we see Buckeye fans in other cars, and they give us the traditional man fist/pump.

10:30 AM - We reach Columbus! Insert pilgrimage or Holy Land reference here.

10:55 AM – Mike and I refuse to pay 20/30 dollars (!) for parking close to the stadium, so we find a spot on 9th Street and park there. We don’t mind the walk — it’s healthy.

11:05 AM - Mike insists that we get Starbucks coffee. He’s also complaining that it’s too cold. This is only his second visit to the ‘Shoe — his first visit coming when it was 85 degrees earlier this year against Navy. He will learn to appreciate Big Ten football weather. Give him time; he’s young.

12:00 PM - After roaming the streets of C-bus, Mike and I wanted to know what it felt like to be the first one to fall on a fumble as a member of the Buckeye’s defense, so we headed over to the Varsity Club for a drink. Despite a great atmosphere, it did feel like Dexter Larimore (get well soon), Doug Worthington and Cameron Heyward were lying on top of us, so our stay there was short.

Impatient Isaac: That place is so crowded! Let’s get Archie Griffin or Kirk Herbstreit to donate some money and build another room/level. Ugh!

12:10 PM – We walk outside and look at the sky as if we hadn’t seen it in days. We let the cool breeze brush across our face. We feel like ‘Mox’ and ‘Billy Bob’ after they left the, er… adults only bar in the movie Varsity Blues. That’s what ten minutes in the Varsity Club can do to a man.

1:00 PM - More wandering. We made our way over to St. John’s for the Skull Session. On the way, we passed the jumbo-tron and got the 190th update on Tim Tebow’s playing status. It was approximately the 189th time I wanted to punch myself in the face. I figure it’s how the rest of the country felt last year with Beanie’s “I broked-did-my-toe” situation before the USC game.

1:30 PM – The Skull Session. I love the Skull session. It’s like a concert — their’s a band (the best one in the land, as a matter of fact), celebrities, athletes, etc… Mike had to convince me not to throw my Scooby Doo Boxers on the court.

1:50 PM - We head back towards High Street to grab lunch (nothing fancy, just Charlie’s Steakery). As we’re walking, we see a (college age) girl hovering over a trash can, just moments after she had… discarded… the contents of her digestive system.

Realistic Randy - That means she was puking.

Pessimistic Parry – Thanks for the clarification, Randy. Anyway, watching that girl as her friends pointed and laughed at her made me think of her parents. Somewhere, in a dark room, they’re weeping. Now, I’m in the mood for lunch, let’s go get a Philly-cheese-steak sandwich!

2:30 PM – After lunch, we decide to head towards the stadium. I bought another buckeye necklace (a tradition of mine — for every game I attend, I buy a buckeye necklace) and put it on.

2:40 PM - Mike points out that the Goodyear blimp is hovering above the ’shoe and says:

“What up big pimpin?”

Yes, he called the good year blimp big pimpin’. I took the natural progression of the conversation and said:

“Or should we say big blimpin’?”

The two of us thought that was hilarious. This, people, is how nicknames are made.

3:05 PM – We join the sea of red as thousands of people pour into the entrances of Ohio Stadium. I’ve never been more okay with having obese, sweaty men that close to me… It just felt right.

Impatient Isaac - Speak for yourself.

3:15 PM – Our tickets are in the C deck, so we have to climb the 963 steps to get there. I contemplated calling my loved one’s to tell them if I didn’t make it…

3:28 PM - We make it to our seats just in time to see the start of Script Ohio. All is right with the world.

3:40 PM - Both teams decide they don’t want to offend each other’s defenses, so we get to watch a lot of three and out’s.

Lost track of time - Kurt Coleman intercepts a Tolzien pass, and I scream as loud as I can for the entire 89 yard touchdown return. I hug/jump with Mike like I just won the lottery.

Time continues to be lost - It’s early in the second quarter, and Terrelle Pryor just threw the worst interception in the history of time. I might be exaggerating, but even before he threw the pass, I looked at his intended receiver and said to myself “Oh, please God, don’t throw to him”. Four plays later, Wisconsin fakes a field goal and runs for a touchdown. Everyone in the stadium sees a Wisconsin blocker hold/push Jermale Hines in the back, except for the refs.

Approximately two minutes before halftime – Wiscy tacks on another field goal, and I begin to worry. If we don’t do something on offense soon, we’re going to lose. Lamar Thomas muffs the kickoff and returns it to the twelve yard line. That’s when Terrelle Pryor/the offense decides to make a (brief) appearance in the game. They drive 88 yards on 7 plays (in 73 seconds!) to take the lead back.

Optimistic Oscar - Nice drive! We know this offense is capable of great things, and that was proof.

Realistic Randy – Yes, it was a good drive, but consistency is what makes a good offense. We need to see more of that in the second half!

Pessimistic Parry – Good luck with that, Randy. Our offense is more schizophrenic then… we are.

Halftime - I spend the entirety of the break waiting in line to use the restroom. That was real special.

Beginning of the Third Quarter – The stadium is buzzing. Wisconsin gets the first possession, and moves the ball for an early first down. On the next third down, Jermale Hines practices the tip drill with himself and returns another interception for a touchdown.

Optimistic Oscar – The defense has scored more points than Wisconsin’s offense! Take the day off, Terrelle!

Pessimistic Parry - It looks like he received that message before the game. Hold on a second, I have to check Pryor’s stats. Yup, he’s 4/12 for 70 yards. Up to this point, he is not completing over 50% of his passes. If he doesn’t step it up, he will earn the Uncle Rico nickname for the rest of the week. I bet he could throw a football over those mountains…

Shortly after - Wisconsin get’s a quick 33 yard gain and moves into Ohio State territory, but the defense clamps down and holds the Badgers to a field goal. The Buckeyes are still up 21-13, and I start to get antsy again. The guy sitting behind me says:

“Come on, Ray Small. One time.”

That’s when Small got his “Teddy Ginn Jr” on and takes the ensuing kickoff 96 yards for a touchdown.

I hugged the guy sitting behind me and thanked him.

The rest of the third quarter - Consisted of a ridiculously long 8 minute drive by Wisconsin, which ended in a missed field goal. Our offense scrambles onto the field; they honestly looked surprised to actually have the ball. Up to that point, they were on the sideline having a pretty relaxing afternoon. I think Pryor and Darrell Hazell were playing some beer pong, the offensive line had their sleeping bags out for a quick nap and the receivers and running backs were playing red-rover.

The end of it all - The fourth quarter started with Pryor’s only pass attempt of the second half, a 17 yard completion to Dane Sanzenbacher. Brandon Saine rips off a 31 yard run and Pettrey caps off the drive by actually making a field goal in the 30 yard range. People are now starting to head for the exits. The Buckeyes are up 31-13.

Everyone in the stadium (or everyone in our section, at least) knows what to expect. When Ohio State gets the ball back, Tressel will bleed the clock as dry as he can, and then punt. This game is over.

Carmen Ohio and the victory bell - This is when I get my sense of time back, it’s 6:53 PM. Big blimpin’ is hanging over Ohio Stadium to get one last shot, the players and remaining faithful sing Carmen Ohio, and then we head for the doors.

7:32 PM - Mike and I get back to my car and hop in. We avoid most of the traffic with Mike’s GPS device, and begin the two hour drive home. Mike says:

“I’m so glad we won. It would probably be the most miserable two hours of my life if I had to drive home with you after a loss.”

I respond:

“Well, we don’t have to think about it. 31-13, baby. O H!”

Mike responds:

“I O!”

Congress Wants to Fix the BCS?

Congress has been dealing with the worst economic crisis in our time. Today they took timeout to tackle one of the President’s extra curriculum ideas, changing the BCS bowl system to a playoff system. Representative Joe Barton of Texas is introducing a bill to say that the BCS cannot claim a champion without it coming from a playoff system. Congress held hearings on Friday, May 1^st discussing the current BCS bowl system with several members on both sides of the debate.

As much I appreciated congress tackling steroids in baseball and putting professional athletes to a character test to be held accountable for destroying the integrity of the American past time. I don’t think it is appropriate for congress or the President to intervene in sports to change the rules. The Mountain West Conference has hired a lobbying firm to lobby Congress for changes to the BCS system. I am not sure how much money each college of the conference has contributed to this effort, but I think there are more productive areas that the money could be contributed to and be more beneficial to the student-body of the MWC.

The big boys do own the BCS, the ACC, the Big Ten, the Big Twelve, the SEC and Pac Ten have automatic bids to the five BCS Bowls, the Rose Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, the Fiesta Bowl, the Orange Bowl and the National Championship Game. Selections are made According to computerized polls and the Associate Press Bowl and the Coaches’ Poll creating a score that fills the automatics bids. I don’t appreciate computers trying to decide by the numbers what people can decide by using history and experience, but it doesn’t bother me that in this case that the BCS system has tried to compare the two to create competitive games for not only the opportunity to make money, but also to provide the fans with an exciting experience. I probably come off as being bias being a fan of the Ohio State Buckeyes. That has participated in the last 2 out of 3 national championship games and has made numerous BCS appearances that to popular opinion have been because of the university’s reputation to sell tickets not always providing for a competitive game.

The system works. The BCS does the best it can to create a competitive game and the most competitive games are going to come from where the best players go. That is going to be to the biggest conferences because that is where the best athletes are going to find the biggest showcase of their talents to furthering their careers in professional football. On the outside it looks like there are only a select few schools that get the most money, but if you look at recruiting and the players involved the best players go to the biggest schools that are in the biggest conferences. You can’t make everyone happy, there are going to be schools and players in smaller conferences that always feel left out in a bowl system where there are approximately 36 bowls for schools with a .500 record or better can play in and get a share of money from the sponsors involved or a playoff system that pools more money together eliminating several bowls that could not compete against the viewership of a playoff.

Another part of the argument is what would happen to the exciting regular season which in many ways is a playoff for the teams competing in the toughest conditions. Playoffs often don’t go down to the wire deciding on when matchups are decided. Once the winner of a conference is declared the spot is filled. This will lead to some of the most historic games in history being played noncompetitively. Imagine the Ohio State vs. Michigan game being played by their third and fourth string players to preserve the first string for the playoffs. Conferences and coaches alike are going to be challenged how to play the student athlete in a longer season that could create more opportunities for injury to amateurs trying to further their careers.

Gene Bleymaier, Athletic Director for Boise State, noted that his school’s football team went undefeated several times , yet never got a chance to play for the national championship under the BCS. I understand the argument, but have little sympathy for a team that doesn’t play a top twenty five team except for maybe once or twice every other season. Boise State is a good football team and they did put together one team that beat a good Oklahoma team, but they will not do this on a regular basis. It is pure numbers. The 16, 925 undergraduate students Vs. Ohio State University’s 34, 479 undergraduate students (numbers provided by www.yahoo.com/education) cannot always bring in the top high school athletes in the country. This is not only about money, but also the student athlete. The larger universities benefit more students and this is going to decide for most football players where they are going to play football. The current bowls not only work for the market and sponsors involved, but also for the exposure of the football players involved. The undefeated seasons for Boise state has let them play in a bowl game each of those seasons. If there was a playoff the possibility that they would compete with other undefeated teams for a much more limited opportunity and increased pressure to win more than just one playoff game exist. You can beat Oklahoma once, one time in a season. Can you do it three times in a row? In a playoff it will become much harder for those schools to compete. In the current bowl system you can have the satisfaction that you collimated your winning season with the opportunity to win your final game against a school that on-paper you could beat or competitively play against in a highly publicized game. In a playoff a small school will eventually meet someone that outweighs them by a lot and though David might slay Goliath some-of-the-time it doesn’t happen enough to justify them getting the opportunity every time.

The BCS should stay the way it is. They can always tweak the computers and the polls to accept the current trend to create the best opportunity for everyone involved that can competitively play against each other. The worst thing about the argument is that everyone is forgetting the players that are involved on the field. Everyone is just squabbling over their piece-of-the-pie and since the little brother feels like it is only getting table scraps they are crying. This isn’t an argument that our President should be trying to get involved in. There are much more important matters that require his attention. We should just continue to let the players decided this on the field.

Nathan Williams’ case settled

Defensive end Nathan Williams pleaded guilty to a reduced charge and was fined 0 earlier this month, settling the case that began with him being charged with theft after a December 2008 incident at a Dayton-area mall. Williams and a…
Continue reading at Blogging the Buckeyes

Pryor: Hard on himself, but woe to outside critics

After the spring game Saturday, quarterback Terrelle Pryor once again bristled when talking about those who have criticized him as a less-than-stellar passer. (And you know who you are!) This is a continuation of a trait Pryor has displayed since…
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Seven Ohio State Buckeyes Drafted into the NFL

Seven Ohio State Buckeyes Drafted into the NFL

While Ohio State was completing their spring with the annual Scarlet vs. Gray game in the Horseshow, a class full of graduated seniors were awaiting their next career step, the NFL. The NFL draft proceeded the Spring game with four Buckeyes selected on the first day and three more selected in the second day of later round selections.

Continue reading at Brutus Report

OSU free agent run down update

By Tim May Life in football is not yet over for several Ohio State players who went undrafted over the weekend. Ken Gordon filled you in earlier on the status of a couple and now we have a more compete…
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Another tryout; Boeckman still waiting

Defensive tackle Nader Abdallah will head to Jacksonville Jaguars minicamp this weekend, hoping to earn a free-agent contract. He sounds pretty fired up that he’ll get an offer. Meanwhile, quarterback Todd Boeckman definitely will sign a deal soon, but he’s…
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Nicol gets a shot

Tight end Rory Nicol will try out with the Washington Redskins this weekend in hopes of signing a free-agent contract. Nicol likely would have already signed a deal, but he was hampered by a hamstring injury he suffered while working…
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Buckeye Banter | Jim Tressel Lets Loose at Record-Setting Scarlet and Gray Day

The Ohio State annual Scarlet and Gray Game hasn’t always been exciting or necessarily fun to watch. Yesterday, during 2009’s scrimmage, however, the excitement factor was in full overdrive.

Even before the game started, the atmosphere in and around Ohio Stadium seemed more like the Buckeyes were getting set to open the non-conference season than hold an early spring scrimmage. 

The fans…
Continue reading at Bleacher Report – Big Ten Football

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